Morning Glory VI: I'm Not in Love
by Isahunter
Summary: I hate summaries...I'll think of something clever next time.


TITLE: "Morning Glory VI: I'm Not In Love" (1/1)  
AUTHOR: Isahunter  
RATING: PG  
CATEGORY: V, WIP, Krycek/Other (No slash)  
SPOILERS: Up to "One Son," S6  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please.  
FEEDBACK: Isahunter@aol.com  
DISCLAIMER: Although the other characters are of my own creation, all characters from "The X-Files" are property of CC, 1013, and FOX. No infringement intended.  
SUMMARY: I hate summaries...I'll think of something clever next time.  
  
For every single one of you who voted for Midnight Angel in the Spooky Awards. You have my unending gratitude. Thank you.  


* * *

"With lies you may get ahead in the world--but you can never go back."  
--Russian proverb  


A frigid gust of air wrapped around her bare ankles like shackles as she opened the door. Clutching the blanket she'd grasped from the couch tight about her shoulders, she stepped across the threshold onto the icy boards of the porch. Snow flakes melted under her feet, as she closed the door behind her and tip-toed towards the stairs. A sliver of light was all she had to see by, as the moon played hide and seek behind the clouds. But it was plenty bright enough to see the old car rumble to a stop just past the cabin before cutting it's engine.

Her heart was pounding. And as the door opened, she silently hoped he would mistake her trembling for shivers.

He stepped out and got to his feet, his back to her, looking far taller than she remembered. Wearing a heavy wool coat instead of his usual leather jacket, he reached into the back seat for something before straightening once more. When he closed the door and turned, freezing in place as he spotted her, her breath caught. He looked so...good. It seemed like an eternity before he bothered to move.

Crossing the space between them, snow crunching under his boots, he held her stare. Before he could reach where she stood, she found her voice at last.

"I think you forgot something."

He glanced back to see a chubby orange cat digging frantically at the window, meowing so loud it could be heard from where they stood.

"Shit." He stalked back to the car and opened the door--yet when the cat jumped down and its paws landed in the icy snow, it yowled even louder. Grumbling obscenities, Alex bent to pick up the cat, closed the door, and headed back to where she stood. His eyes dared her to say a word. "Damned cat's a pain in the ass."

Judging by the way the animal was suddenly purring and rubbing against his coat, the feeling wasn't mutual.

"You shouldn't be here, Alex."

He hesitated only briefly, in mid-stride. "Hello to you, too."

"Walter knows you escaped. There's no telling what he'll do when he finds you here."

"Walter?" The corner of his mouth lifted. "I think I can handle Skinner."

He stepped up the stairs two at a time, stopping just inches from her, as she said, "How? You don't have your Palm Pilot anymore."

He stared down at her, his eyes cold in the darkness. "So much for them not turning you against me."

She looked away, her throat constricting. "You will always be my friend, Alex. But you don't belong here. Not now."

He leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I brought you here, Sabryn. You're lucky I bothered to save your ass."

She swallowed heavily, inhaling the familiar scent of him, her fingers twitching as she fisted them in the blanket. "Why did you?"

"Because I told you I'd make sure your family was safe."

"I can't help but wonder why a man who lies, tortures, and kills would give a damn about one broken promise."

His jaw visibly clenched as he slowly set the cat down on the porch. Even then, it continued to brush against him like a favorite toy. Sabryn frowned slightly as the cat's purring reached her ears.

"Exactly what lies has Skinner been filling your head with?"

"Are they lies?"

"You tell me. What did he say?"

"That you're suspected of killing your former partner's father, just months after betraying Mulder yourself."

"Bill Mulder deserved to die."

She gasped. She didn't know what was more shocking, his admission, or his total lack of remorse.

Leaning his right hand against wooden support at her back, he bent towards her, intentionally invading her personal space. The heat emanating from his body lured her like a drug.

"You want to know what kind of man he was? How he sacrificed one of his children to the devil while taking out his guilt and anger on the other, like a punching bag? How he was personally responsible for the abductions of thousands of children," he paused, "much like yourself...for the experimentation of alien genetics? You were lucky, Sabryn. You were returned, alive. Most of those kids suffered slow and painful deaths at his 'mercy.'"

She sucked in a shuddering breath, staring at his neck, unable to stand the piercing glare of his eyes.

"What about Agent Scully's sister?"

"Her death was an accident, and I wasn't the one to pull the trigger. I don't kill women."

"But you didn't stop it, either, did you?"

"I had a job to do, and I wasn't about to blow my damned cover just when I was earning their trust. But it didn't matter, did it? I was nearly blown to hell anyway."

"Why would they want you dead if you did your job?"

"To destroy evidence. I had the encrypted tape they wanted, and I would have taken the blame for Melissa Scully's murder...my death would have put a halt to any further FBI investigation."

She glanced up a bit, to his lips this time, noticing how close he was. And damn it, she wanted him to kiss her. Despite every instinct that told her it was wrong. Even with all she knew about him, she wanted him still. The only thing more pathetic was that she'd been thinking about another man only minutes before.

"You were locked in a missile silo near here, as punishment for selling government secrets to foreign countries?"

He didn't move a muscle other than bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed. "Yes."

"And you must have wanted revenge after that."

"I was buried alive. What do you think?"

Some little impulse of compassion made her lift her hand toward his face, only to flinch when he seized her wrist.

"You think you know me, Sabryn? You think you know all my dirty little secrets after a few minutes of Skinner's lectures?" He leaned so close his lips brushed her ear as he spoke. "You don't know shit."

Her eyelids drifted closed at the touch of his body against hers. Christ, even the mere proximity of him made her mouth water. She could feel her nipples hardening even more as they brushed against his chest.

"How long was it before Reginald brought you here?"

He backed away, taking a step towards the door. "I'm through talking about this."

"What about Skinner, and the Russian boy? How do you explain that?"

He turned on her so fast she stumbled over her own feet and slammed her back into the column.

"How do I explain that? It was fun. I got off on torturing them. It was a kick. It made me hard, Sabryn, is that what you want to hear?"

"You aren't scaring me."

"Oh, I think I am." His face inches from hers, harsh breath against her face, he sneered at her. "Do you know what it feels like to hold someone's life in your hands? To know that with a flick of your wrist you could end it all?"

She swallowed heavily. "Why the boy?"

"He was my proof. My bargaining chip. I would have given him the vaccine to prove it worked. He would have survived. Instead, he was stolen from me and barbecued."

"He was beaten and disfigured, in your care."

"It was necessary."

"For what?"

"I don't expect you to understand--"

"Then explain it to me!"

He obviously wasn't expecting her anger. Was he really so distant from his own emotions that he couldn't feel compassion for another human being?

"Sacrifices are made for the greater good of the people."

"What makes you any different from Bill Mulder? Abducting and torturing children, experimenting upon them--what makes you so special?"

"He worked for a bunch of back-stabbing traitors--"

"So do you."

"I don't work for anyone but myself!"

She didn't back down even in the face of his sudden rage. Standing toe to toe with him, she matched his glare with every ounce of fury. He was an assassin and a torturer, yes...but deep down she knew he wouldn't hurt her. No matter what she said.

"What about Walter Skinner? He's an Assistant Director of the FBI."

"He's an ass-kissing bastard is what he is."

She raised her hand to slap him only to be pinned to the wall by his weight, the air leaving her lungs in a brutal gust. Gasping, she tried in vain to push him away as he angrily restrained her.

"Walter Skinner got his title by bending over for the very same men responsible for your abduction. But unlike Bill Mulder, he didn't go in willingly. He continued to play the game because he didn't have the balls to back out. He straddled that fucking fence for too long--what I did to him demanded he prove where his loyalties lie."

"You self-righteous, arrogant asshole!"

Gripping her chin, he stared into her eyes. "What did he do to you?"

"What?"

"What did he do to turn you against me? I sure as hell know it took more than a couple of stories."

"Let go of me."

"Did he fuck you?"

"Go to hell!"

"If he ever touches you again, I'll--"

"You'll what? You'll kill him?"

"You're mine, God damn it!"

She could only stare at him in disbelief. From the near blackness of his eyes to the scowl lines between his eyebrows. His jaw was ticking, his nostrils were flaring, and she could feel his erection against her stomach. She was torn between the urge to strangle him and to wrap her thighs around his waist and hold on tight.

Gritting her teeth, she said, "I belong to no one."

"Wanna bet?"

His mouth was on hers before she could even protest. Insistent and demanding, forcing his way inside. She could have bit, scratched and punched at him...only she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer. Felt him sucking at her lips, met his tongue to taste the warm sweetness of his mouth. And when she felt him lift her, bracing her between him and the wooden pillar, she enfolded him with her legs and pressed herself even harder against the bulge growing in his pants.

He jostled her slightly, getting a better grip with his good hand, never releasing her mouth, before pulling back from the pillar and carrying her towards the cabin.

She had to be insane. A little over twenty-four hours earlier, she'd been kissing another man...and here she was, wrapped around a wanted felon like a clinging tendril.

He broke away from the kiss as he opened the door, and she could see the cat brush past his legs and scurry into the warmth of the cabin. Alex shut the door behind them, glancing at the nearest bedroom.

"You better tell me if anyone's in there, or they're about to get an eyeful."

She barely managed to speak. "It's empty."

Pushing the door open, he stepped inside and closed them in almost total darkness. She could feel him moving across the room seconds before his legs hit the bed and she started falling. The moment his weight landed on top of her, his mouth was on her again. Licking, sucking, devouring. He bit his way down her neck, brushing his body against her, settling himself between her legs.

Oh God, she was an idiot. She knew they shouldn't be doing this, and she weakly tried to push him away, but even she knew the protest wasn't real.

"I hate you."

She could hear him laugh. "Yeah, sure you do."

He dragged aside the blanket she'd wrapped around her, his hands sliding over the long night-shirt underneath. And despite the urge to say no, when he ran his hands down her sides to yank desperately at the hem of her shirt, she didn't even move.

"Alex, please..."

He exhaled heavily, his hands stilling, his forehead dropping to rest against her shoulder. She could feel his chest dragging against hers with the rapid rise and fall of his breathing.

"What did he do to you?"

His voice was barely audible. Staring at his dark outline, she tried to focus. "He kissed me." She could feel the tremor that ran through him, and she hesitated before saying, "And I kissed him back."

He lifted his head from her shoulder. Staring at her through the gloom, before pushing away in obvious disgust. Sabryn grabbed on to his coat before he could pull away altogether.

"Alex, he was nice to me. He--he was protecting me, and taking care of me, and that wasn't something I was used to."

"So it was gratitude? What the hell would you have done if he'd saved your life, given him a blow job?"

"That's not fair."

"The hell it isn't!"

Tugging hard on his coat lapels, she pulled him even closer. "After everything you've done, if I can forgive you for that, I think you can forgive me for this."

His breath rasped across her face. "Do you want him?"

Her hesitation made him curse under his breath. "You don't understand, it wasn't like that."

"Oh, I understand...Daddy didn't take care of you, so you decided to find someone who would."

The comment was like a slap in the face.

"You don't know a thing about my family."

"Don't I? The little girl in the picture, her hand nestled in her father's grip, then years later he's suspiciously absent from her life and she clings to her older brother like a life preserver?"

"My brother loved me when no one else did. He lost everything because of me."

"Why?"

She pressed her hand against his chest and closed her eyes, wanting to feel his presence but unable to hold his gaze. "When Johnny was in high school, he joined the football team and became one of their most valuable players. He was popular, and his best friend, Mark Trinity, was one of the most handsome boys I'd ever laid eyes on. I'd had a crush on him for years, and when he started hanging around at our house, I was overjoyed.

"Mark would tease me and joke around, but he was always very nice to me. He even included me in their stupid little adventures when Johnny didn't want me tagging along. And one day Mark called on the phone and asked me to go to the movies with him, but I thought he was kidding. I had no idea why a guy like him would want to be seen with a girl like me."

Sabryn drew in a shuddering breath, thankful for his silence. It was hard enough to remember that time in her life without having to answer questions.

"But Johnny told me that Mark talked about me all the time when I wasn't around. And my brother seemed genuinely excited about his friend wanting to go out with me. So I said yes. I was so nervous getting ready. My mom was even uncharacteristically happy and helped me curl my hair. But it didn't matter what I looked like because I was a total mess a few minutes after arriving in the theater. He began kissing me, running his fingers through my hair, unbuttoning my shirt and squeezing my breasts."

She could feel the tension in Alex's body, could almost feel his gaze boring into her as she continued.

"I was so excited to be on a date with a boy that I didn't bother to stop him. It didn't go any further, that night anyway. There were other days when he'd come to visit my brother, but he'd end up kissing and petting me on my bed."

"Where were your parents?" he asked, his voice lower than usual.

"They knew what was happening, for the most part. They knew I could take care of myself. I was fifteen, and I'd been responsible for my own actions for quite some time."

She thought she heard him mutter something, but didn't catch what he said.

"Every day, Mark pushed me to go just a little bit farther. And I liked him, but I barely knew him other than when he was touching me. We never talked. And one day, when he was shoving his hand down my pants, I told him to stop. I thought we should wait, at least until I was sixteen in a couple of months, but he didn't see it that way. He got angry and tried to force me, but I fought back and broke his nose. He left and when Johnny came home from his own date, he came in to check on me. He saw how upset I was and made me tell him what happened. He got so mad that I was afraid he might grab one of Daddy's guns and do something stupid. I made him stay with me, and promise me he'd leave Mark alone.

"John made the promise, but broke it the next day at school."

"What did he do?"

"Johnny said Mark told him that morning the only reason he'd dated me was because I had big tits for a sophomore and he wanted to fuck me. He never would have been caught dead with the town freak otherwise. Johnny was suspended from school for fighting. He broke the star quarterback's jaw. Mark had to have oral surgery and I never saw him again."

"Good. The bastard should have had his ass kicked several times over."

She opened her eyes to stare at him. "John could have been a real football player...but he was kicked off the team because of me. And that only made my parents despise me all the more.

"Every boy that ever showed interest in me only wanted one thing. Maybe that's why I kissed Walter...because he didn't seem to want anything more than I was willing to give."

"You think I'm like Mark Trinity?"

"No, you're not a rapist...as far as I know."

His eyes narrowed. "No, I'm not...but you think all I want from you is a good fuck."

"Isn't it? That's what you've told me before, Alex. Several times."

"Yeah, well you should know by now I'm a liar."

"What do you want from me?"

"Everything."

She reached up to touch his face, brushing her thumb against his lower lip. "I don't understand you."

"You don't have to, Sabryn. I want you, all of you. You're mine. Whether you accept it or not."

"Cocky, aren't you?"

He gave her a real smile for the first time all night. "It's called confident."

"Yeah."

The rush of unearthly pleasure that suffused her veins made her feel like she was floating. Whether or not he was lying now, she didn't know. But she wanted to believe. More than anything. With only a few more days left before the New Year, she had to hold on to hope while she could.

Pulling his coat off his shoulders, she dropped it to the floor before starting to unbutton his shirt. Dropping kisses over each new inch of skin she exposed. Tugging his shirt free from his jeans and stripping it from his arms, one at a time, taking care not to get his cuff caught on his prosthesis.

"I guess this means you're taking over?"

"You said you wanted everything...so come and get it."

* * *

END.  


'Tis the season for feedback--Isahunter@aol.com


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